Navigating the Holidays with Food Sensitivities

Knowledge is empowering, especially when it comes to your health. When my clients have struggled with years of not feeling well, and we discover a trigger for some of that chronic discomfort, it can be life-changing.

But with this knowledge comes a sense of loss, almost a grief about missing a favorite food or ingredient. When I first started practicing as a dietitian, I was surprised at the emotional responses people had towards their food. But I shouldn’t have been – food is love. We plan social events around food, and we often associate food with comfort: food is more than sustenance. The relationship is complex.

Our emotional response to food (and many other things) can be exacerbated during the holidays. For many of us, the holidays are about tradition – and much of that tradition relies on food. I’ve seen clients struggle as they realize that eating grandma’s famous stuffing may not be the best choice this year. Maybe you’ve discovered wheat gives you IBS symptoms or onions trigger migraines. By removing these foods, symptoms decrease, and you suddenly feel amazing. But given the complicated relationship most have with food, you may not feel comfortable going to food-centered events despite knowing what will make you feel best.

Here are a few tips I’ve used with clients over the years to help navigate these waters.

Put yourself first.

Practice this mantra: it’s ok to say no. It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to say no. So many of us are afraid we will hurt others’ feelings – but at what expense? You deserve to feel well, even if it means saying no to your aunt. Yes, food can be a way to express love, but taking care of yourself is also love. Be kind and courteous to your host. For some of my clients working on a script to practice can help relieve anxiety. It can be hard – you may feel isolated or “high maintenance,” as one client calls it. But you aren’t – it’s just another part of self-care – standing up for yourself and your health.

Offer to bring a dish you know you can eat.

If you are going to a party where you know the food options will be limited, think about a dish that you can bring. Offering to bring something can help you feel more comfortable and in control at the party while also looking like an appreciative guest – a win-win. If the host insists they don’t need any help, you can then explain your limitations and that you’d love to bring a side because you don’t expect him/her to make something special for you. They may surprise you and even offer to make something else.

Remember that those who have a hard time accepting your changes may be struggling with their own health.

Unfortunately, managing others’ feelings can be one of the most challenging parts of making changes to your diet – even if it’s for your health. Someone watching you make changes may also be struggling with a health concern. By changing your diet they are forced to examine why they haven’t made those changes yet. Continually offering you food you can’t eat or even making fun of your changes may just be a defense mechanism. Be firm and kind. Explain how sick you feel after eating that food. But also remember you don’t need to justify your need to feel well. Keep it simple.

Start a new tradition.

Do you usually host a cookie party? Add some new recipes that work for you. Or maybe start a new tradition that does not revolve around food – a present wrapping party, a game night, neighborhood caroling, or a hiking group. Creating new party traditions can be especially helpful if you have a child with a food sensitivity – a fun holiday party can take the pressure off and shift the focus off of food.

Remember that food sensitivities can be transient and improve as you heal.

Unlike a true food allergy, food sensitivities can improve over time. With the proper gut healing program, I have successfully worked with many who are able to add back in foods that were once a problem for them. Take it one day at a time. Maybe next year you will be able to have grandmas stuffing. Or perhaps you will feel so much better that the same food doesn’t tempt you anymore.

Most importantly – enjoy the holidays. Enjoy the time you have with the people you love. It may take a shift to remember that the holidays don’t have to only be about food, but it can be a time to examine the importance of who we choose to spend time with and what traditions are truly important to us.